SO071: Rest Isn’t Easy

Season 12: Finding Rest as a Homeschool Mom

This season of the Simplified Organization Audio Blog is excerpts from an hour-long live chat all about resting as a homeschool mom. Find the link below to access the replay in its entirety!

Transcript

So, an example is our family’s EHAP. So, EHAP is one of those things, it’s part of Sweep and Smile, it’s a part of the Simplified Organization Course that means Everything Has A Place. Sometimes everything doesn’t have a place, that’s why there’s more decision fatigue because you’re like, where do I put this thing? Giving things a home is one way we eliminate decision fatigue. So, it’s a project. It’s something that we do that’s going to have the payoff of rest after it’s done. EHAP is the time to put things back where they belong and it has a time and it has a place every day. At our house it’s about five o’clock most evenings. Not every single evening but most evenings at five o’clock is EHAP. That means at three o’clock when the house is a wreck and I feel like “AHHH, I’ve got to do something about this now,” take a deep breath, and we don’t have to do something about this now, we’re going to do something about it at five, so right now I can let the kids be doing their thing and not interrupt them because I feel crazy. I’m the one that has to take a deep breath and say, “We’ve got this handled, it’s OK.” There’s a time for everything and everything in its time. So, everything in its home and everything in its time that’s when we can take that breath and know that the decision then has been made, it’s not an immediate problem, it’s not a vague problem.

So, we have to systematically work through our responsibilities and our obligations and our time and our home, and in various ways put things in their home. That is how we then build the mental rest in our own heads. And yes, we can then, also, build time where we aren’t being interrupted and asked a million questions. But, here’s another thing to add to your brain dump. Throughout the week, write down the various kinds or maybe even specific questions your kids are asking. And maybe there are decisions that can be made upfront. Like, are they asking questions because they really want to know what’s happening because it’s always up in the air? Like, the more things that are always up in the air the more chatter there’s going to be from the kids and from your own head. But, if breakfast is always oatmeal because no one asks, “What’s for breakfast?” One of my favorites is if the kids ask what’s for dinner? I say, “Food.” I don’t have to think about it. I might have my menu planned but sometimes, ask me at a certain time and I don’t know, we’re going to have something or sometimes I’m just making something and it doesn’t have a name, so then you’re thinking ‘food, we’re going to have food.’ Finding those little things that just turn off the stress response is the distraction looking for an answer that is where we’re going to start finding mental peace and clarity. So, maybe pay attention to the questions that you’re asked this week and see if there’s a common thread or note which ones are most draining to you, and is there a way that you can arrange the day or just have a pat answer that eliminates the stress that comes when the question comes.

Sometimes these are really easy, really simple if we look intentionally at it, but when we get into distracted mode it takes work and intention to get out of it, and that’s where I am right now in the Deep Work book, I’m in the rules section. But he’s really developing how hard it is to move from distracted to thinking in a straight line again. And how intentional we have to be and that it’s really like a muscle that we have to grow. So, if we’ve been in distracted mode for a really long time it’s not going to be about just arranging a quiet time and suddenly we’ll be able to think deeply. It’s going to take practice to exercise that kind of attention again. And it will be uncomfortable at first as well, and difficult at first, but that ability to think through something without being distracted is where we’ll start finding calm and clarity and resilience which I think we don’t just need physical rest, selfishly for ourselves to feel better. What we need is resilience. We need internal, calm, and clarity so that when craziness happens outside of us with other people; people are bumping into each other, bumping into us, we need to have resilience – the ability to bounce back and to not just crumble or explode or whatever, immediate reaction happens. Sometimes this is expressed as being proactive. You can’t be proactive or resilient in a state of constant distraction. The two states are mutually exclusive. So, it’s a really important issue to address.

Access the whole replay:

What we need is resilience. We need internal, calm, and clarity so that when craziness happens outside of us with other people; people are bumping into each other, bumping into us, we need to have resilience – the ability to bounce back and to not just crumble or explode or whatever, immediate reaction happens. Sometimes this is expressed as being proactive.

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