Decluttering without minimalism
Photo by Beng Ragon / Unsplash

Decluttering without minimalism

You don’t have to be a minimalist to prioritize decluttering your home.

If you’ve spent any time watching decluttering examples or advice on YouTube (I know I have), you know the most popular videos are made by minimalists. The aesthetics are right. The message is simple and straightforward. The transformations are dramatic.

And a dramatic transformation is exactly what we want when we set out on a decluttering mission. 

Therein lies the reason we can be so tempted to watch videos of decluttering instead of actually decluttering ourselves. Perhaps we might be spurred on for a moment after turning from the screen to our real life, but how often do you spend more minutes watching and planning and - let’s be honest - internally whining than you spend actually decluttering?

The dramatic transformations and the simple, straightforward advice of the minimalist declutterers provide a trap for us, average housewives with a passel of children and a busy life. 

We want what we cannot have: a dramatic transformation. So we get our fix by watching one more video, fantasizing about how maybe - just maybe - we could throw away everything in our house and start over again from scratch. Surely that would make *everyone* happy, right? 

Why does minimalism appeal to us?

We know minimalism isn’t an easy option, but it is an easy answer. 

  • What’s wrong with your home? It has too much stuff.
  • What’s wrong with your mood? You have too much stuff.
  • How can you fix your home? Get rid of as much as possible.
  • How can you fix your mood? Get rid of as much as possible. 

Simple. 

It’s not that such answers are necessarily wrong, but that they are overly simplistic. We examine our relationship with stuff. Clutter does our space and energy inefficient. Clutter will inhibit our productivity. 

However, minimalism as an approach to life perpetuates the very issue it promises to fix: materialism. Buying more stuff will not solve your problems, but neither will having no stuff.

Stuff isn’t the priority. Stuff isn’t the pivot on which our life turns. It is neither in maximizing nor minimizing our stuff that we find satisfaction and momentum.

Making what and how much we own our focal point - whether by being a collector or a minimalist - proves a distraction. It is an easy answer. We can try to control stuff as a substitute for controlling others. We can control stuff more easily than we can control ourselves. 

I beat the drum that organization begins with our attitude because it is true and also because most “organization experts” seem to begin (and even end) with stuff-management. 

Put stuff in bins. Label your stuff. Get rid of your stuff. Whatever. The stuff can wait, but your attitude is the true crux of whether or not your home works and you enjoy it. 

You can get rid of two-thirds of your stuff and put all the rest into beautiful containers, yet if you have done it all while grumpy and complaining, you’ll have gained nothing. Your home - and you - will still be miserable.

What does minimalism get right?

I do think most minimalist experts really are trying to help. They know and teach that you can’t buy your way out of mismanagement. They remind us that what we own ought not define us. We’ll all be better off if we value relationships and experience over stuff. True.

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with marketing, we need the reminders that accumulating more and more will increase rather than decrease our stress. 

Because we tend to be pulled in a million directions and distracted, we need the reminder than managing our stuff is a part of managing our homes. It takes time, and we should give intentional thought and effort to stewarding our resources well. Most minimalist experts give solid advice for how to do that.

Often minimalists do give advice about mindset and gratitude. Often a desire to buy more and more stuff is discontentment, which must be addressed through repentance and gratitude. 

What minimalism gets wrong

Perhaps unwittingly, however, minimalism itself can cultivate discontentment as well. Seeing the clear, calm, bright spaces on videos and in magazine spreads can bring out envy and dissatisfied with our homes’ normal bustling state.

Sometimes the message of minimalism becomes, “Just work to achieve open spaces, clean lines, and clear surfaces and then you will be calm and happy.” It makes a certain amount of sense. However, it’s much more likely to work the other way: Be calm and happy *and* busy about your work and you will have an intentional home you are satisfied in - even if it never becomes Instagram-perfect.

Minimalism caters to our desire for a formula. We want to have a guarantee of results before we start putting forth effort. Achieving a minimalist lifestyle should only ever be a tool toward a greater end, and never an end or identity in itself.

What end do you want as a family? What end does your home have? If it is to have a functioning, happy family that is fruitful and productive and thriving, then you might need to have more stuff in your home to facilitate hobbies, growth, and experiments. It might be better to leave your husband’s piles alone than pick fights. 

Which is more important? Your marriage relationship or your desire to follow minimalism’s “best practices”? If they collide, you will have to pick. Fighting or nagging is choosing minimalism as the priority over and above your relationship. Even if you get that goal, will it be worth the sacrifice? 

Three decluttering principles

First, be realistic.

Decluttering is not a mission. It’s just one tool in the constant responsibility of managing the home and its resources. Decluttering is necessary, but not an end in itself. 

Your goal with decluttering is not to achieve some copacetic ideal. Real family life is messy. Raising children requires stuff. Your home ought not look like no one lives in it. Piles of books, jars of pens, containers of blocks and duplos speaks to a family culture in action. Embrace it; don’t fight it.

Second, declutter regularly.

Decluttering isn’t a project that, once finished, changes your lifestyle forever. For an active, thriving family, it is simply a practice that has to be constantly applied in order to manage available space well. 

Give decluttering ten minutes a day, a few times a week, and you’ll be able to effectively manage your resources without giving into perfectionist hopes and idealistic goals.

Third, give things homes.

What you can keep depends on what space you have. Be creative in finding homes for things, but also do give things home. The difference between clutter and resources is that resources have a home, a place to go, and clutter does not. 

You don’t have to give away or trash stuff to get rid of clutter. You can, instead, keep it if you find a place for it to go. Where it goes doesn’t even have to be a cute basket or a labeled shelf. Decide that the toy bin belongs next to the couch and make it intentional rather than something you fight or feel bad about. That counts as a designated home. 

The more designated homes you can give your stuff, the less clutter you will have and the less guilt and pressure. 

You are a home manager. Don’t let other people’s rules or standards boss you around. Figure out what your family needs and experiment with ways to improve your own situation. 

Join me for a free decluttering workshop:

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Written by

Mystie Winckler

Mystie Winckler

Mystie, homeschooling mom of 5, shares the life lessons she's learned and the grace she's received from Christ. She is author of Simplified Organization: Learn to Love What Must Be Done