The Young Peacemaker by Ken Sande is a biblical conflict-resolution book for children that teaches them how to understand conflict, confess sin, forgive others, and make peace.
This review explains how the book works, who it is best for, and how Christian homeschool families can use it for simple lesson plans, family discussions, or character training.
This is not a flashy curriculum. Its strength is that it gives families biblical categories and shared language for handling conflict. It works best when parents discuss it with their children and then use the ideas during real conflicts.
I heard about it a few years ago, purchased it, and used it during Morning Time. We worked through about a third of the 12-lesson book before I ditched it. The concepts taught are excellent, but the stories, examples, and explanations are geared for upper elementary & middle school, and it wasn’t a good fit with our all-under-8 crowd at the time.
I then bought the author’s book, Peacemaker, thinking I’d read it and simply integrate his principles into our real daily life fluidly, but that didn't happen in a timely fashion.
Then Brandy recently posted an excellent series called Should I Make My Child Apologize?, and it coincided with my noticing in my own house that my children’s problem-solving and getting-along skills are on the decline and instances of tattling and hitting on the increase.
So, I revisited The Young Peacemaker teacher manual and decided that this was the year to include it again.
The Young Peacemaker can be used as a short family Bible study, a homeschool character curriculum, or a once-a-week discussion guide.
You do not need an elaborate lesson plan. Read a short section, discuss the examples, apply the principle to real family conflicts, and practice the language of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
Ken Sande’s Peacemaking for Families says this about making children apologize:
As soon as our children could speak, we required them to make a confession whenever they did something wrong. […] Even though they were obviously not sincere some of the time, we believed that it would be good for them to develop the habit of at least saying the right words. Many adults do not have the foggiest idea how to make a good confession; at least our children would not be able to plead ignorance!
and then,
Once we concluded they were mature enough to understand and take responsibility for their actions, we did all we could to encourage them to make sincere confessions, even if it meant long talks and prayer together, or having them sit alone to think about their actions.
The Young Peacemaker has 12 lessons that include a memory verse, a story, a lesson, role-play application suggestions, and references to other Bible stories and passages that would be applicable.
Lessons include explanations of where conflict comes from (selfish desires in our hearts), what a biblical apology includes, what biblical forgiveness means, how to avoid bad responses to conflict (peace-breaking and peace-faking), the need to own responsibility for one’s choices, and a very good lesson on how conflict – handled well – brings glory to God.
The perspective it gives is that conflict is inevitable, but it’s an opportunity to glorify God through obedience, not a sign that you’ve failed automatically. Every single lesson is rich with biblically sound teaching and is deep for children’s material.
My Lesson Plans for Young Peacemaker
To use The Young Peacemaker in Elementary Lessons, I’ve decided to break each of the 12 lessons into 4 days of 10 minute sessions. We’ll be doing 2 a week for 24 weeks, but you could also do them 4 days a week for 12 weeks. I do recommend this for children ages 8 and up; for younger children, Doorpost’s Brother Offended chart is simpler and more applicable.
The examples and stories simply won’t resonate with younger children, and the explanations are too in-depth for the little ones. The primary target age would be around 10-12, I’d say.
- Required resources: The Young Peacemaker Teacher Manual by Collette Sande
- Optional resources: Peacemaking for Families or Peacemaker, both by Ken Sande