If you feel like you are constantly winging it as a mom, you do not need a complicated planner or a total life reset. You need a simple planning routine that helps you see what matters today.
When you stop trying to carry every responsibility in your head, you can make calmer decisions, follow through on the essentials, and stop feeling like the day is running you.
We’re all starting back to regular routines right about now, and trying to gear ourselves up to stick with the plan as best we can. We’ve probably all tried all three of the options before – schedules, routines, and winging it – and found none of them satisfactory. What should we try next?
So often, those first days back, when our good intentions are so strong, something happens: kids get sick, someone breaks an arm, the baby gives up on napping – something happens that throws us off our game.
So we’re tempted to give up in despair. Why try? Why have good intentions? What good do they actually do?
But if you’ve ever tried living in the state of giving up and not trying, you know that does no good, either.
What does it mean to wing it as a mom?
Winging it means moving through the day without a clear sense of what matters most. It does not mean you are lazy or irresponsible. Most moms start winging it because they are carrying too many decisions in their heads.
Without a written plan, every task feels equally urgent, and the day becomes reactive instead of intentional.
What’s a busy mom with lots of plates to spin supposed to do?
Let’s figure that out.
Winging it when schedules don't work
When we try to stop winging it, we usually turn by default to creating a schedule.
Pro: You’ve thought about what needs to be done and given it all a spot in your week.
Con: You are most likely overambitious in counting what “needs” to be done while also underestimating how much time things take, so the schedule is more wishful thinking than deliberate planning.
Pro: When you know your responsibilities have a slot in your week, you can focus on what’s at hand and not try to do everything at once.
Con: A mom’s life is made of interruptions and urgent needs, so being tied to a time-bound schedule often creates more stress than it relieves.
Related: 3 Secrets That Make Schedules Work
The real issue: Instead of attempting to control the situation through a rigid schedule, we must use our plan as a route to faithfulness and good stewardship, controlling ourselves and our responses rather than other people and our circumstances.
Maybe instead of a schedule, you might try a set of routines.
Pro: More flexible than a schedule, yet more structured than winging it, a routine lets you do one thing and then another without treating the clock like a slave driver.
Con: When you don’t pay attention to the time, you’re susceptible to dawdling and distraction, letting the day slip away without staying on track.
Pro: A day can have multiple routines built in with margin space around, making it less about situation control and more about doing the right thing next.
Con: A mom’s life is made of interruptions and urgent needs, so even routines rarely work out as written.
The real issue: We expect our plans to work as written. They won’t. There is not necessarily a problem with our written plans when they don’t work; rewriting them isn’t the solution, picking up where we left off the best we can is the best solution.
When we feel overwhelmed
We give up the schedules and routines when we feel out of control. When there is no paper telling you what to do when you’re just flying by the seat of your pants.
Con: You waste time or do less important work first because you don’t know what is best to do next.
Pro: There’s always room for interruptions and urgent needs, because there was no plan being thrown off by them.
Con: All time is spent in the urgent category rather than in intentional, deliberate priorities, because no priorities have been set.
Related: Why we keep trying to get organized
The real issue: We need to know what must be done, and then adapt as life unfolds. Winging it is a necessary skill for moms, but it’s not the only skill we should be using. We need to have a plan and then wing it from a place of knowing our intentional priorities and responsibilities.
How to stop winging it
- Brain dump everything you are trying to remember.
Get the mental clutter out of your head and onto paper. - Choose the top three priorities for today.
Do not plan the whole ideal day. Choose the next faithful things. - Check your calendar before your task list.
The calendar tells you what kind of day you actually have. - Write a simple daily card.
Put appointments, dinner, and your top three tasks on one index card. - Review and reset tomorrow.
The goal is not a perfect plan. The goal is a repeatable practice.
Simple planning structure when you're overwhelmed
You are the key to making it work, not the paperwork.
We’re all looking for the plan, the way of doing things, that makes life easy. We want the plan where we just float along and everything glides.
That’s the source of our real frustration. Our expectations are out of whack. We don’t expect to be thrown off our game, and when we are, we don’t expect that we can simply handle it and move on.
But that’s exactly what our plan – in whatever form it takes – should do.